Raskolnikov (Bologna; Winter 2013)

I read a book about history

It made me afraid of who I'll be

I don’t want to come good if it can't come clean

nor be one of many casualties

this one's for all the charlatans

(I can call them out but I'm one of them)

I've hated, I'm hungry I'm feeling sore

I don't want to be angry anymore

I am no Napoleon

Sharpen your nails

There's a long fight coming

You'll fight it with strangers

But you'll want them to come inside

All you have need of is love and your health

And I've been alone

But I forced it upon myself

I'm starting to learn

The most astounding progress

Is to give up on winning and live on regardless

But I still forget it

Tell me I'm good, just tell me I'm good.

I don't think I'll ever make history

That's saved for better one's than me

What floods in your veins is a mystery

I would do well just to feel your heat.

West Facing Window/Fenêtre à l'Ouest (London, Montpellier; 2012)

Recording of a song I wrote last year and then translated into french for a show while I was living in Montpellier. I might be getting round to putting a proper demo together and actually putting myself out there when I leave Italy, so while the mix here isn't great (all I have to work with in Italy is a not great guitar/some bad headphones or computer speakers), I'm learning.

Texts in both languages underneath...

West Facing Window

Do you believe that we ever did grow

Or just changed our proportions in changing our homes?

It's quick to the heart and it's close to the bone

You're loved but you're sick and I'm well but alone

Even though I was the weaker one.

You say you've this fear of the end in your head

Though we pray for the dead, we still bury our dead

Do you crave sleep when you've fucked and you've fed?

Are you one of us then, are you one of us then?

Only one of many animals.

If you were a brother to me

You'd pull my hands from my eyes and would force me to see

If I'm to be a brother to you…?

But I know you

You'll go too far

Confusing high rise lights for stars, cats' eyes for cars

When you're in the dark you should know where you are

All I can tell you is all that I know

That is all you can hope is a room of your own

With some west facing window for home

If you were a brother to me

You would shout in my ears and would not let me sleep

If I'm to be a brother to you…?

If I'm to be a brother to you,

Which one of these things do you think that I'll do….?

Fenêtre à l'Ouest

Est-ce que tu crois qu'on a jamais grandi?

Ou qu'on changeait d'opinions en changeant de lits?

Ça va  vite au Coeur et ça pique l'esprit

T'es malade mais aimé, et l'inverse je le suis

Et c'est qui qui resens le plus ces maux?

Tu as cette peur de la fin de ton corps

Mais on prie pour les morts, on enterre ses morts

Quand t'as mangé, baisé alors est-ce que tu dors?

Tu es chez nous alors? Ô t'es chez nous alors?

Qu'un parmi plusiers animaux

Et si tu étais un vrai frère pour moi

Tu prendrais mes mains de mes yeux pourque je le voie

Et si j'étais un vrai frère pour toi?

Mais je te vois, tu vas trop loin

Mais tu prends les tours pour les étoiles

Quand le ciel se voile

Quand on est dans le noir il se faut le savoir

Je ne peux que te dire de ces choses que je crois

Que le sommes des éspoirs

N'est peut-être qu'un chez toi

Qui fait face à l'ouest sur ces bois

Si tu étais un vrai frère pour moi

Tu crierai dans mon oreille pourque je ne dorme pas

Et si j'étais un vrai frère pour toi?

Mais tu prends les tours pour les étoiles

Quand le soleil se voile

Quand on est dans le noir il se faut le savoir

Si je suis vraiment ton frère,

Laquelle de ces choses tu crois que je vais faire?

Oh yEAH!

Here are some photos some people sent of when me and Fausta supported Alexis HK in Avignon - best gig ever, fridge full of beer, he band were lovely and half way through the three course meal the bookers sent us for for some dude comes in and is all like 'the artist's masseur/osteopath is here, when you're ready'. Yeah. France.

Creepy Crawlies (Dorset; 2008/Bologna; 2013)

Hi! I'm back!
And I done made a short thing for a string quintet...

The other day I was going through a load of old files (half-written songs, pieces of written music, etc.) on my laptop and found a folder marked 'ChinaDrôle'. ChinaDrôle was a super short lived minimal(?) project I started because, when I was about 18 I got super into minimalist style film music - I think it was walking home from watching Persepolis, for which I really liked the soundtrack, that I got the idea. This is a common theme, I would hear something I like and be like 'have to do that!' then write an album's worth of unfinished, never to be finished songs and forget about it...

Anyway - while rooting through said unfinished ChinaDrôle songs, some of them boring, some of them half decent. I found a couple of bars of a thing I had been writing for piano and violin, that I had totally forgotten about, and I didn't think it was half bad. Here in Bologna one of my (two) classes is this epic music theory course on Harmony and the Baroque and all this stuff that I have no training in whatsoever. This isn't to say that what I've done here has anything in common with that music, or that I've even necessarily followed the rules of that music, or music in general, but the course had helped me a lot to see why I do what I do and why I like what I like, and it's made finishing this, rewritten for a string quintet, really interesting. It's totally flawed, but I think it sounds nice, and I sort of like the idea of writing music for films, I wrote a short score for a person I knew's play once, and it was a good feeling.

On the course and why I'm enjoying it. A lot of people I talk to are anti-theory, saying that it limits your creativity. I've always sort of seen that as total crap. I get the point, for sure, if you let theory overrule your confidence in your own creativity, that sucks and you're probably going to end up a really boring artist. I read somewhere once that primarily making art is just about having good taste and a sense for what time you're in, the rest is about having the craft to realise that good taste for your time, and that takes practise and, quite possibly, theory. Theory just seems to me like a set of tools you can use when you get into trouble, that can help you appreciate things you and others do regardless of whether they form a part of a theoretical structure, and that can give you a reference and a context for when you want to break the rules. If I think about it, I'm not sure anything can ever be cutting edge if you don't have a little theory first and a knowledge of what came before, because without that you don't know what you're rejecting and why what you're doing is necessarily new, you're just moving about in the dark hoping to get lucky. Sure, that's fine too. But it also explains a lot of bands that only ever make one good album and disappear.
Theory can be elitist, which is bad, and in the end if it sounds or looks of feels good, it's all good. But I definitely get a bit of satisfaction in being able to say why Bach, for example, would be super pissed at the way I'm did this, but doing it anyway because it sounds good to me and I actively know what I don't like in the parts of theory and harmony I'm not using.

and Children Live Ft. Fausta (August 2012; Montpellier)

I've been living in Montpellier just over a month now and have been playing with Fausta for only a little less time than that. She's a locally pretty well known harpist and songwriter whose music you can find here. So far we've been mostly working on her songs as we've got some pretty big gigs coming up, including supporting Alexis HK (who is apparently pretty hot shit in France) in Avignon in October, but we've also done a little work on a couple of mine for some local concerts around Montpellier. Here's a video of a song of mine we played at our first show together a couple of weeks ago and that someone who was there just sent me, it's a little shaky, but good things are coming... 

In other news, I now have a proper place to live, at least for a little while, and so will try and post new stuff more regularly again...

Non-verbal II (Summer 2012; London/Dorset)

One more song to come for the Non-Verbal cycle after this. I need a bass. Listen on headphones, if you can. I am not good at mastering for computers/at all.

Non-verbal II by NCMiles

 

Friend we have all got some history

I'd like to know yours if you'll talk to me

I forgot kindness and I'm so sorry

I've not been feeling myself lately

You say you're in love and you wish it weren't so

Your eyes shine this way when you're hurting I've noticed

when you hurt you walk fast though there's nowhere to go

I don't want to talk no I just want to know you

When I was aware that I'd got too deep

found myself in your spare bed but I found no sleep

Stood at the foot and you stared at me

But I've not been myself lately

Saw you all April in the wet street post-storm

But when I looked up what was you there was gone

I thought that I had got it bad before

Until I knew you I didn't know I was born,

I feel to get lost and I'm ready to leave

In my dreams I just walk til' I'm too tried to speak

A new kind of distance between you and me

I've not been feeling myself lately

Wuppertal (Summer 2012; London)

Pretty raw song I wrote in a quiet moment during my exam period (now over) have been drinking for a couple of days, looked over my notes having totally forgotten it, found it, recorded it. Didn't use the good mic, haven't worked any licks for it, just wanted it up. A lot of (properly) recorded new stuff to come. Rough.        Also, it's HOT, digging gym shorts and vests.

Wuppertal

Got myself hooked onto something again

it puts me to sleep next to some false friend

when I do dream I do cross the outskirts

but when I try, waking, my legs don't work

Took that old tram right out of this town

waited around til the sun went down

the city grows out and there're more trams to take

don't think I'm asleep but I'm never awake

We've been running like rabbits and we're breaking our necks

I feel that fear too but I keep it in check

I can't take all the credit for being so brave

s'why I'm not sure if it's always been this way

It rained all of April and it didn't stop yet

my glass is all dry and my shoes are all wet

can't seem to get clean, not for all of this rain

just give me a call when it's summer again...?

I'm sorry.